Tooth fairy

I realized my youngest daughter was much different from any child I had before when I was unloading groceries one day. I had placed some boxes of diapers in the middle of the living room and went out to the car to retrieve the bags. When I came back in the room she had stacked the boxes and climbed to the top. She stood as high as she could with her arms up in the air. I dropped my jaw and bags, then ran to rescue my sweet 10 month old from herself. That brave little girl is 14 months old now and her fearlessness is a daily battle. Yesterday it felt like we failed that battle and our hearts were heavy.

I had my oldest set up in her wheelchair by our front porch to wait for my husband to get home from work. Our little dare devil was playing and exploring the front yard. She found a galvanized watering can and was hitting it, dragging it, sticking her hands in it, just learning about it. She had played with it before and I thought the worst that could happen was for her to drop it on herself. Sadly she proved that wrong. She was leaning over it looking into the dark hole and lost her footing. Her face quickly fell onto the rim of the watering can. I swooped her into my arms and saw blood and tears rolling down her face. I narrowed it down to her mouth, and saw she had something in her mouth. I ran my fingers to get whatever it was out. My first thought was “She’s eating chalk again.” then “It is probably a rock”.

It was her tooth. She had fallen face first, the rim of the watering can hitting the bottom of her front tooth. This caused the root of her tooth (which is extremely long in a baby’s mouth because it is still growing) to go in a forward direction ripping through her gums and out of her mouth.

After calling the Doctor and Dentist we were assured that she would be okay. Yet all night I felt like the worst parent in the world. I regretted taking them outside and giving her freedom, I said all the what ifs that would’ve allowed for my daughter to have kept her tooth. I imagined how she would look in the mirror for the next several years and see over and over again the results of her losing her footing. I wanted to fix it, to protect her, I wanted her to not have to deal with the reprocussions of one accident for the years to come.

How often must God feel this way towards us? He grants us freedom and we place ourselves in danger. His holds us close and we fight to get away. We sin and deal with the repricussions for years. He must ache, His heart must be so heavy for us. Letting us figure this out, granting us freewill and hoping we will make the right choices so we don’t lose our footing and get hurt.

Just like I swooped up my baby in my arms when she was wounded and looking for me. God is waiting right beside you, longing for you to look towards Him. He is concerned for you and pounders your wellbeing as a worried parent does over a child. He desires you to follow him, and trust Him with your wounds.